With the 2016 elections heating up, we detected a certain aroma wafting on the edge of our senses. It seemed to swirl around the initial announcements of candidacy, proclamations of the respective parties, and spewing Super PAC sewers.
Drawing on the burgeoning pile of righteousness and dubious facts that floated on the rising political tide we were able to capture and concentrate the essence of the collective output of our modern political polemic.
With scent in hand, we did the only practical thing we could... we bottled it up as quickly as possible. With landfills across the US at capacity, and the Yucca Mountain Waste Depository indefinitely closed, we came up with the only viable disposal solution available to us – the American consumer. Out of concern for our fellow citizens we have provided ample warning labels on each container, and even a scratch and sniff early warning and acclimatization system.
We hope that you will do your part as a concerned citizen and help us diffuse the ever growing stench by taking responsibility for one or more cans of Political Nonscents.
THE Donald POLITICAL NONSCENTS
GOP Political Nonscents
Clinton POLITICAL NONSCENTS
DNC POLITICAL NONSCENTS
How can I get my own can of Political Nonscents?
Tap Buy Now. For $10 you get the can of your choice shipped to you. For $25 you get a 3-PAC. For $100 you can form your own Super PAC of 13 cans.
Will you deliver on your promises?
Unlike many candidates, we truly do have a fully formed plan to deliver on our promises.
How do you distill the aromatic essence of American politics?
Through a painstaking process of watching every debate, attending rallies, and engaging with every pollster who calls or knocks on the door.
What is in the can?
Each can of Political Nonscents contains the form and fragrance of manure. Like most of the current crop of candidates, Political Nonscents contains nothing organic or natural, despite claims to the contrary. If you are feeling bold, pop open a can, but be forewarned that like your electoral choices, the scent may linger 4+ years.
Can I order Political Nonscents in bulk for resale?
Yes. Please use the contact form below and include "Resale" in the content.
Isn’t Political Nonscents offensive?
Yes it is!